Photo Courtesy of Jeff Kolodny Photography

Weddings are occasions of happiness and joy for me.  Every wedding I attend brings tears of joy, being the sentimental romantic that I am.  I’m a pretty traditional, old fashioned girl and I consider myself pretty knowledgeable in American wedding customs.  But living in San Diego, with its diverse cultural population, I’ve learned some very interesting things about how the Vietnamese culture in particular, prepares for THEIR weddings:

DID YOU KNOW……

In the olden days the bride and groom were chosen for each other by the families.  This was to keep the upper society intermixed, and keep the poor out of their family line. The union of the couple was not only to bring them together to create a good life, but to establish an alliance between the two families. Nowadays, couples are allowed to choose their own mates, but they still have to gain approval from both families before the union can take place. Wedding preparations are decided upon by the entire family, on both sides, which sometimes makes wedding plans hard to agree upon.

Vietnamese couples will ask only select single women and single men to be in the wedding party.  By their definition, single is never-married, never had children, non-divorced.  To allow a previously married bridesmaid or groomsman to be part of their wedding party would be considered bad luck.

Vietnamese also believe it is bad luck for anyone to sit on the bed that the newly-married couple will spend their first night as man and wife. Once again, this is considered a sign of bad luck.

Conversely, Vietnamese believe that if the happily-married parents of the bride and the groom select the wedding bands for the couple, it is a sign of good luck and a lasting marriage.

If the Vietnamese couples are not members of a particular faith, the couple will be married first by the parents of the bride in their home, followed by another wedding in which the groom’s parents marry the couple in their home.

Traditionally, the couple must stay apart on the day before to prevent bad luck. On the night before, the bride’s mother will tend her daughter’s hair with several combs. Every comb means something, but the most important is the third comb – at that time she will ask for luck and happiness her new home.

Red is the dominant color in a traditional Vietnamese wedding – it’s considered a lucky color and will lead to a rosy future.

The traditional wedding customs for the Vietnamese are deeply seeded in Chinese rituals and Confucian morality. Each custom is designed to bring eternal happiness to the couple and a strong union between the families. In modern times, some things have changed in these customs, but the Vietnamese people still hold true to honoring some of them.

Next:  Indian Wedding Customs & Traditions